Honesty is the Best Policy
by courtneylc82
Summary: CHAPTER 7 (finally, sorry!) IS UP! Nick comes clean with Jess about the real story behind his "first time"... which opens up some new possibilities between them. Still deciding between a one shot and a multi-chapter piece, so feel free to weigh in! Some spoilers for Virgins.
1. Chapter 1

**_Hey everyone! I don't know if this should be a one shot or a multi chapter story… can you guys give me your thoughts? Since this week's episode might not be very Nick and Jess centric I decided to jump ahead a little bit. Thanks in advance for your feedback. I don't own New Girl in any capacity._**

* * *

He swallowed a lump of anger and regret as he watched Jess grab her phone, send off a rapid-fire text, and slip into the hallway. _This isn't happening; I'm not watching the past few weeks swirl down the drain and disappear._ Her parting words still rang in his ears. _"That's how you lost your virginity Nick? On a dare? That's the least romantic thing I've ever heard, I can't believe you." _Nick's pride was wounded by her self-righteous tone and he prickled at her words. _"Oh _forgive me_ Jess, sorry my story didn't involve candles and a million pillows and romance for days. I was 16 years-old, give me a break. Some of us didn't feel like waiting until we were 22 and the stars were perfectly aligned."_ He knew he'd gone too far before he even saw Jess' face fall. She was hurt, but she collected herself quickly and rearranged her features into a passive mask. _"Well, silly me, I guess," _she said._ "It doesn't matter, Teddy's downstairs."_

Winston, Cece and Schmidt had gone back to drinking and didn't even notice when Nick grabbed his keys and followed Jess out the front door. She was jamming her thumb on the elevator call button at regular intervals and turned away from him when he approached. She looked tiny silhouetted in the dim hall light, but Nick felt even smaller when he took in her slumped shoulders. _You did that_, his inner voice chided, _why do you always ruin everything?_

* * *

"Jess, please, I'm sorry," Nick pleaded. "And also, uh, I lied."

Jess turned to face him, her curiosity piqued, but she didn't say anything.

"I didn't lose my virginity on a dare in high-school, ok? That's just the story I've always told, and I really didn't feel like outing myself in front of Winston tonight. I know I'm being a complete baby, but I just wasn't in the mood for getting ragged on."

Jess frowned, but stayed put when the elevator opened in front of her. "So what really happened?"

Nick slid down the wall to sit and Jess did the same. His heart leapt when the elevator closed again and Jess made no move to stop it.

"So, that story, the one I told tonight? It's true up until the end. I had psyched myself up to go for it with that girl back in high-school, but when the time came to, um, seal the deal… I just couldn't go through with it."

Jess raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Nick rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "You know, it's like what you were saying. It just didn't feel right. I didn't know this girl very well and I, well, I just couldn't see how it would be right to cross that line with someone I didn't care about. So there you go, 16 year-old Nick didn't have a lot of swagger, just like 31 year-old Nick doesn't." He buried his face in his hands, embarrassed that he had lied in the first place, humiliated that he was putting it all out there now.

Jess reached over and pried the heel of his hand off his eyes. He relaxed and looked into her face, into those blue eyes that always seemed to see past the first layer and land on what was true deep inside him. She unnerved him completely, but she also made him feel alive. These past few weeks with Jess had been intense and full of possibility, but now, for the first time, Nick saw how vulnerable he really was. It was scary and exhilarating.

"So when did it happen for you then? You owe me the real story Miller," Jess coaxed. "C'mon we can both handle it."

"Ok," Nick said, as he blew out a shaky breath. "It was the summer after I graduated high-school and I had a really fun job at a community center in the city. I worked the snack bar, played games with the day campers and did a little bit of office stuff and paperwork. It was a good gig, not too boring and everyone who worked there was my age with the exception of the bosses."

Jess nodded, "I think I know where this is going," she grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, tale as old as time," Nick muttered. "Anyway I was madly in love with this girl named Charlotte who worked there. She was pretty and really funny and down to earth. The campers were crazy about her and she was friends with everyone and we kind of hit it off. So we flirted at work a bunch and I took her for ice cream and to the movies and even sprung for a couple of nice dates, which was a stretch for not-quite-19-year-old Nick."

Jess laughed and bumped his shoulder with hers, urging him on.

"So towards the end of the summer, I knew she was the one for the big moment and I was really excited because she was going to NYU in the fall and I was heading to Syracuse, so I figured we could make a go of it, you know? So the night came and it was super awkward, but it meant a lot to me and I was certain that Charlotte and I would be coupled up for a long time. But, after it happened, she started acting standoffish so I thought maybe she was shy or something or maybe she was worried that we'd rushed things, so I tried to be understanding. I asked her to go to lunch with me the next weekend and gave her this whole speech about how much I respected her and how I was crazy about her and how I couldn't wait to visit her at NYU next year. When I finished talking, she looked at me like she pitied me and said, 'Nick, I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I thought we were just hanging out. I really can't go to college with a boyfriend, that's just not my style.' So yeah, that story isn't really one I felt like debuting before the entire loft audience tonight."

Jess's eyes were wide and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh Nick, that must have been the worst."

Nick let out a hollow laugh. "Yeah, it was. It kind of crushed me." Nick looked down at the place where his knees, crossed Indian-style, touched Jess'. "And I'll be honest with you Jess," Nick started, his voice ragged. "If you go downstairs and have some little re-connection moment with Teddy, that's gonna crush me too."

Jess looked surprised. "What do you want me to do?" she breathed.

"You've got your phone, text him. Say something came up, lie. I don't care; just don't get on that elevator."

Jess blinked at him twice, then wordlessly reached for her phone and tapped out a message. Nick's chest tightened and his heart fluttered. _I guess honesty really is the best policy._

* * *

Later that night when the loft common space was quiet and empty, Nick tip toed into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He was startled, but pleased to see Jess sitting in the semi-darkness nursing a mug of tea. "Chamomile?" he asked. "Decaf peppermint actually," she laughed.

He sat down next to her and sipped his water, trying to will the pounding of his heart to settle down.

Jess cleared her throat. "So, I really appreciate you coming clean with me earlier. Honestly, your first story bothered me because it didn't sound like you. Thanks for telling me the truth."

Nick shrugged, "No big deal, I owed you some honesty. Plus, it stopped you from having an encore with Lisa-Loeb-loving _Teddy_, so it paid off."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Stop saying his name like it's a pharmaceutical side-effect. He's a perfectly nice guy."

Now it was Nick's turn to roll his eyes. "Sorry Jess, you're not going to convert me."

Jess giggled. "So, when you and Charlotte, uh, got down to business, was it romantic?"

Nick laughed. "Well, romance is a hard thing to lasso when you're 18. I did scatter petals from my mom's silk peony arrangement across the bed. I bought some strawberries and lifted two _Zimas_ from my Aunt's house. Oh, and Charlotte said her favorite song was 'The Way You Look Tonight,' so I made this ridiculous mix tape with different versions of that one song on loop."

Jess cracked up. "Oh my God, how many versions did you find?"

"I think seven or eight," Nick laughed. "But the good news is, when you're 18, sex doesn't last through a lot of songs, so she probably only heard two."

Jess wiped her eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Oh man, that was some good stuff. Don't be too hard on yourself Miller, I'm sure you've refined your technique in the years since," Jess teased.

"Oh I most definitely have," Nick flirted, his voice dropping an octave. "I can promise you that."

"Oh really? Maybe you should prove it," Jess blurted.

Suddenly the light banter that had swirled around them was gone and all the air had been sucked out of the room. Jess was flushed and her eyes were dark and Nick had no doubt he looked exactly the same. Slowly, and with baffling deliberation, Nick put his glass on the table, and took Jess' mug out of her hands. He deposited it next to his glass, grabbed Jess' chair with both hands and pulled it as close as he could to where he sat. She knew he was going to kiss her again, but before he did, he wanted to be sure of something. He brushed her hair off her shoulder and leaned close so he could speak softly into her ear. "Jess, this isn't going to go away. And I don't want it to. Are you ok with that?"

He pulled back slightly so he could see her face and was rewarded with a shocked little intake of breath and her fast, deliberate nod. "Yes, I'm ok with that," she murmured.

He didn't need to hear anything else, so he closed the gap between them with lightning speed. He kissed her hard and fast and the roar of excitement in his ears was amplified when Jess wound her hands in his t-shirt and yanked him flush against her. In tandem, they stood up from the kitchen table and clumsily staggered toward the hall between their rooms. When they had kissed their way to Jess' door-frame they broke apart for the tiniest fraction of a second. Nick had never felt so sure about anything in his life, so when he looked into Jess' face and saw nothing but strangling desire, a breathless invitation, he didn't even hesitate. They disappeared into her bedroom and the loft was quiet again; the scattered kitchen chairs and half-finished drinks on the table the only evidence it had even been disturbed.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thanks for the feedback! Since so many reviewers were onboard for more, I decided to go with a multi-chapter piece; something to cling to during the hiatus! Just a reminder, I don't own New Girl in any capacity._**

* * *

Jess' room was dark; only a sliver of moonlight snuck through the curtains and the closet light she'd forgotten to turn off spilled out from under the door. But there was light enough that Nick could make out Jess' face; her flushed cheeks, her kiss swollen lips and her eyes, two shades darker than usual. He started to speak, but Jess shook her head and put a hand on his chest.

"No, Nick," she whispered, tapping her fingers against his heart, making it drum frantically. "You don't have to ask me if I'm sure, because I am. I want this. I might need it, actually," she finished; the faintest trace of a plea her voice.

Something inside Nick broke; he couldn't hold back anymore. "God Jess," he growled, pulling her close and claiming her lips again, "I need this too," he murmured between kisses. His fingers started working at the buttons on her pajamas. They were little plastic bananas, which made sense when you took in the monkeys and banyan trees printed on the flannel twin set. Unfortunately, banana-shaped buttons aren't easy to unhook when you're half-crazed with passion. Nick stamped his foot in frustration after four or five failed attempts, and Jess, laughing softly, took pity on him and deftly freed them all.

Nick pushed her top off her shoulders and froze as he took in the creamy expanse of her moon-pale skin. He blinked a few times dazedly before pulling her to him; delighting in the feel of her velvety skin bare under his fingertips. He traced down her spine, caressing each vertebrae and smiling as she shuddered in response. He dragged himself away from her mouth so he could worship the rest of her; trail kisses across her collarbone, press them into the elegant curve of her neck. "God you're beautiful," he breathed. She was tugging at the hem of his t-shirt urgently, so he backed up a pace to yank it over his head. When they came back together and he could feel her delicate curves pressed against his bare chest, it nearly sent him over the edge. They shed the rest of their clothes in record time; he wanted to touch every square inch of her. And as he did, he lost himself, lost track of reality, lost his grip on the world around him and he gave himself over to this shimmering moment with Jess.

* * *

Nick fought against the morning with every fiber of strength he could muster. The moment he opened his eyes, he knew where he was. _Jess's bed, the land of a million pillows,_ he thought, smiling. He could feel her warm against him, still breathing deeply and evenly, but the sun was too damn bright. It had ferreted out every pinhole in her drapes, discovered every crack in her blinds and its resilient cheerfulness was bathing the whole room in a warm glow. Now, Nick wasn't complaining about the overall feel of the place. It was only fitting that on the morning after the best sex of his life, the whole room be awash with light. The problem was, any minute now, the relentless sunshine was going to wake the gorgeous creature spooned up against him and shatter this golden moment.

Almost on cue, the sun slanted through a significant crack in the curtains and fell across Jess' face. She shifted a little, wrinkled her nose and scooted closer to Nick, hiding her face from the sun by pressing it into the crook of his neck. Goosebumps erupted on his skin and he tilted his head to make her more comfortable. She sighed and dozed for another minute or two before waking up in earnest. Once her eyes fluttered open, they locked on Nick's and he braced himself for her reaction. In the past, the morning after hadn't always been kind to him and he was petrified this one would go the same way. As Jess took him in, the corners up her mouth tilted up in a sweet smile before a panicked look crossed her face and she all but dove for the nightstand on the other side of the bed.

"Sorry, it's just… where are they?" Jess was rooting around frantically in the little drawer in her bedside table, muttering to herself. "Oh thank God, she said, brandishing a tin of Altoids triumphantly. "I know that was weird, sorry, I'm just generally terrified of morning breath," she said, popping at least three mints. "I don't know how people in the movies do all that just-woke-up smooching!"

Nick laughed and held out his hand. "Hit me up, I'm with you on this one," he said, helping himself to the proffered Altoids. He sucked in a sharp, wintergreen breath that whistled through his sinuses. "Much better," he grinned.

"Right?" Jess laughed. "Now that we're curiously minty, can we go back to how we were a minute ago?" she asked coyly. Nick held up his arm and relished the feel of her snuggling back into the curve of his shoulder. Jess had ended up sleeping in just his t-shirt while he kept his pajama pants. The banana buttons had not been re-attempted. "So," Jess started, her voice slightly muffled from her cuddled up position. "We are good at sex, huh?"

Nick laughed and pulled her a little closer. "Award winning. Jess, last night was seriously amazing."

"I agree," she said a little shyly. "Even though people say you shouldn't envision things that haven't happened yet because you're bound to be disappointed, I have to say, that was even better than I pictured."

Nick felt his heart swell in his chest. "You pictured it?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "Of course I did, and if you say you didn't, you're lying."

"I didn't say anything of the sort," Nick admitted. "Obviously I pictured it, look at you! I've been living with a gorgeous, giant-eyed brunette who owns maybe one pair of pants and 97 dresses for the past two years. I've pictured it about 100 different ways; I just never thought _you_ had."

Jess blushed and grinned at him. "Well, I have. A lot."

Nick laughed and tugged her toward him for a brief kiss. "Genius move with the Altoids," he whispered.

"Agreed," Jess whispered, pulling him back in for more. Things were starting to get a little heated and fuzzy when a sharp rap at her door and Schmidt's loud voice brought them back to earth. Nick and Jess exchanged a panicked look and both pressed a finger to their lips, begging silence off the other.

"Jess!" Schmidt shouted through the door. "Do you know where Nick went, I can't find him!"

"I don't know Schmidt," Jess shouted back, annoyed. "I forgot to turn on his electronic monitoring anklet today, so your guess is as good as mine."

"Don't get snippy with me missy, I was just asking," Schmidt yelled. "I need to give him a talking to. He's been wearing my taupe suede loafers that I keep by the door for in-and-out trips to the car and to take out the trash. They're not Crocs Jess!"

"No one said they were Schmidt," Jess said resignedly. "Don't you have somewhere to be? I'm still in bed and I want to stay that way."

"I'm leaving for work right now. Remember, if you see Nick before I do, tell him last time I checked, Gucci didn't make house shoes."

"Got it Schmidt, have a good day."

Nick and Jess strained to hear the loft door slam before falling back on the pillows and laughing.

"Well played Jessica."

"Thank you, thank you," she said. "But truth be told, it's not difficult to muster up annoyance when Schmidt is railing about footwear."

"I know, and I don't know if he noticed yet, but the last time I stole his loafers, I didn't step all the way in, so the backs are creased now. It's gonna get worse before it gets better."

Jess laughed. "Well, I should probably get showered and get ready for class, are you working tonight?"

"Yeah, 2 to 10."

"Oh good! I only have one class today, can I come by for an after dinner drink?"

Nick grinned. "Please do."

"Ok," Jess said giddily. "It's a date."

* * *

Nick acted like such an idiot at work that day that everyone noticed. He whistled while he cleaned during the afternoon lull. He spontaneously hugged Big Bob after he brought up some ice and he kept sliding drinks across the bar with overzealous gusto. He had to stop that practice after he broke his second martini glass, but he didn't care. Shane was in today, but thankfully was leaving before the after dinner rush to meet a potential investor.

"What is with you today?" she snarked as she gathered her stuff to go. "You're acting like a kid on Christmas Eve."

"I don't know what you're talking about Shane," Nick half sang as he skewered four maraschino cherries and ate them off a plastic sword. "Delicious. Whoever thought these up was a damn genius."

Shane looked at him through narrowed eyes. "Oh, I get it. Your little room-friend must have given it up."

Nick froze and felt the blood pound in his ears. _How dare she_. Nick closed his eyes and counted to five before turning to face his boss, an icy edge to his voice.

"Shane, I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to me like that again. It's not professional and Jess is a human being, not a punch line to taunt me with. Let's not revisit this topic. I hope your meeting goes well, I'm going to go re-stock."

Shane gaped at him as marched decidedly past her, still shaking with unexpressed anger. He'd kept it together because he thought that's what Jess would have wanted him to do, but half of him still wanted to scream at Shane to shut her mouth. Nick busied himself in the back for a while, and when he came back out front, Shane had gone.

* * *

Around 7:30, Nick thought he might have developed a tick. Take an order, pour a drink, scan the room for Jess. Help a customer, grab a new bottle, search frantically for Jess. He looked at the entrance so frequently his neck was starting to ache. But just before 8, his efforts were rewarded. Jess floated into the bar in a red sundress and cardigan and smiled broadly at Nick before heading for an open stool right in front of him. When she was just a few yards away, a guy in a sweater vest grabbed the chair and started to drag it toward his group of friends on the other side of the bar. Jess stopped in her tracks, disappointed, so Nick grabbed the guy's arm and stopped his progress.

"Whoa buddy, where you going with that stool?"

"Uh, over there to my friends," the guy slurred.

"Oh, that's too bad; see we can't have customers moving chairs, new bar policy. It's a liability issue more than anything, you understand."

The guy looked confused and shook his head.

"Yeah, for insurance purposes, et cetera, we just have to leave this stool here. No hard feelings enjoy your night," Nick rambled, shooing the guy away and motioning for Jess to take the stool.

Sweater vest wandered off and Jess plunked down in the newly vacated seat looking flushed and happy.

"Well, that was quite a little show you just put on Nicholas. And all to save me a seat," she flirted, batting her eyelashes.

"It was nothing," Nick said pushing Jess a glass of wine. "You're just better company."

Jess smiled and sipped her drink. "So, good day, huh?"

Nick blushed. "Really good day."

* * *

Jess stayed for three glasses of wine, but towards 10, Nick realized he'd probably be stuck behind the bar for close to another hour. The place was crazy and he didn't want to leave the relief crew in the lurch.

"Listen Jess," he said over the din. "I'm gonna have to stay for another 45 minutes or so and help Jason get it under control a little bit. Do you want to head home without me? I hate to keep you here on a school night."

Jess nodded, "Yeah, I should probably head home and start getting ready for bed." She looked straight at him and leaned across to bar to speak softly into his ear. "But I'll still be awake when you get in, so promise you'll come visit me?" Nick gulped and nodded rapidly. "Good," Jess whispered. "Then _I_ promise to wear pajamas that are a little more, ah, user friendly," she giggled.

And with that she hopped down from her chair, gave Nick one last saucy smile and disappeared out the exit. Nick forgot his new rule and slid his customer's mojito across the bar so exuberantly it flew off the counter and shattered with glorious fanfare.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hello everyone! Thanks for the reviews and follows. Sorry it took me almost a week to update, but I'm a reporter and was sent to cover the tragedy in West, Texas. For those of you who haven't heard, a fertilizer plant exploded there and killed 14 people and injured 200 more. As a journalist, I've never been so impressed with the strength of a community. The people of West have incredible spirit; say a prayer for them or send them a good thought the next time you have a quiet moment!_**

* * *

Nick almost flew up to the loft after his shift ended. He'd rushed to help Jason get things under control; cleaning like a madman, cashing out tabs with lightning speed and pouring drinks with reckless abandon. A little before 11 p.m., Jason finally turned to Nick with an amused smile and said, "Hey, Flash Gordon? You obviously have somewhere to be, so why don't you head out, huh? And say hey to Jess for me." Nick couldn't stop himself from grinning, literally hopping the bar, and streaking out the front door.

He burst into the loft intent on blazing a trail straight to Jess' door, wrenching it open and ripping her pajamas off in one fluid motion. But, this being the loft, he should have known his plans would be waylaid.

"Nick, settle this argument for us," Schmidt shouted by way of greeting. "Winston thinks Wonder Woman is sexier than Lois Lane, but I wholeheartedly disagree."

"Schmidt, you couldn't be more wrong. Wonder Woman is hot. She's rocking the skin-tight costume, bursting with super powers, what's not to love?" Winston implored.

"Winston, you're such a cliché," Schmidt said. "Sure, Wonder Woman looks good in Lycra, but Lois Lane is all kinds of fiery. She's smart, she has a very marketable nose for news, and she's always wearing short skirts and cropped jackets. Trés chic."

Nick glanced at Jess who was sandwiched between the guys on the couch, looking beyond irritated. She gave him an apologetic look; it was clear she'd gotten roped into hanging out in the living room. He gave her a little smile, hoping to reassure her that they'd outlast these two jokers and have their moment anyway.

"So Nick, what's the verdict?" Winston demanded. "Sexy superhero? Or meddlesome member of the media?"

Jess rolled her eyes and Nick laughed. "Well gentlemen," he said plunking down on the couch opposite them, "you both make good points. Who's not hot for a hero? Then again, a sassy reporter in a short skirt is a good thing too. I'm split on this one. Unless Lois Lane wears glasses, that would tip my favor," he said looking right at Jess. "I've got a thing for specs, can't lie about it."

As Winston and Schmidt commenced arguing about whether or not Lois wore frames, Jess blushed scarlet. He couldn't help tossing her a wink and thanking his lucky stars that their two other roommates were so involved in their ridiculous debate that they didn't notice.

* * *

An hour later, Schmidt and Winston had finally vacated the couch, brushed their teeth and wandered off to bed. Nick and Jess had fought hard to look nonchalant about still being awake and in the living room with no hurry to get to sleep. Jess was reading a magazine with fake intensity and Nick was flipping through the channel guide on the TV with invented purpose. When both guys had shut their bedroom doors, Jess and Nick finally made legitimate eye contact. A thrill went through him as he took in the sparkle in her baby blues and he quietly slid across the living room and took a seat next to her.

"So," he said in a low tone, twirling a lock of her hair possessively around his fingers, "I know you have class in the morning, but is it too late for us to, uh, hang out?"

Jess reached out and snared the hand that was playing with her hair, drew it to her lips and pressed a soft little kiss into his palm. "Yes," she whispered. "But I don't really care."

Nick grinned and pulled her to her feet. "Then what are we waiting for? Your place or mine?"

* * *

Nick and Jess tip-toed to Nick's room and disappeared quietly inside it. Nick thanked the Gods of fate that he had cleaned up before work that morning. It's incredible how motivated his night with Jess had left him. He'd put stuff away, vacuumed, even changed the sheets. Obviously, that had been wishful thinking on his part, but for once, jumping ahead and crossing his fingers had paid off.

Jess was standing in the middle of the room in pinstriped pajamas, looking a little nervous. "So I was going to ditch the glasses, but after your little comment in the living room, maybe I shouldn't?"

Nick laughed and took a step toward her. "I do love your glasses, always have. When you first moved in I had like 50 thousand confusing librarian dreams about you."

Jess giggled and looked down. Nick tilted her chin up and slowly slid her glasses away from her face so he could trace her brow with gentle fingers. Her breath hitched at his touch and he felt a bubble of excitement pop in his chest.

"But honestly Jess, on or off, doesn't matter to me," Nick said in a ragged voice. "I mean, you'd look gorgeous in a burlap sack and a propeller beanie."

Jess looked up at Nick, clearly charmed. "Well, I know I'm rocking pretty dowdy pajamas right now, but there's a story there," she promised.

"Really? Please share it."

"Well, I was trying on my cuter sleep ensembles and had settled on a pretty good one when Schmidt banged on my door and yelled at me to come out and help him find the tea strainer. I thought it would be suspicious if I took the time to completely change, so I just grabbed these giant pajamas and threw them on over, um, my slinkier sleepwear."

Nick swallowed hard, trying to imagine what might be under the yards of pinstriped fabric Jess was currently swimming in. "So you're telling me, Jessica, that you're wearing pajamas on pajamas?"

Jess nodded, "but the second layer is a lot more exciting, I swear."

Nick's eyes flicked down to her clothes and he started undoing the buttons on her top with deliberate and painstaking slowness. "Oh yeah? Well, let's just see then."

These buttons were easy to maneuver, so even though he wanted to drag it out, he pried each fastener open with ease. He took a deep breath and hooked his thumbs in each side of her pajama pants, easing them down to reveal a tiny pair of lavender boy shorts, hemmed in white lace. He pushed her pajama shirt off her shoulders and saw that the purple scrap-of-fabric tank top hiding beneath matched flawlessly. She looked fragile and beautiful. He pushed her hair off her shoulders and reverently traced her collarbones with his fingertips. "God Jess, you're perfect," he breathed as he ran his thumbs down her ribcage, which made her gasp.

"So I'm not so annoying in my little shorts?" Jess teased, softly.

"Not a chance," Nick groaned, putting a hand on each of her hips.

Jess rose up on her toes, pressing flush against him before dropping a kiss on his scruffy jawline.

"I love this," Jess murmured, running the heel of her hand along his stubbly cheek. "So handsome."

Nick wasn't used to this dizzying blend of raw desire and romance; his head was spinning. He couldn't think clearly, so he just did want he wanted to. As he circled her with his arms and claimed her lips, little lights popped behind his eyes. The thrill of the night they'd already spent together was fueling his desire and as she sighed and moaned into his mouth and pressed her tiny frame hard against him, he felt like he might explode. He couldn't get enough of her and as he shed his clothes and she pulled him down to the bed, his last rational thought was _I'll never be able to let this get away._

* * *

The next morning after was different. This time, Nick woke up to Jess, tousled and grinning looking at him with barely contained glee. "Oh good, you're up," she whispered. Nick could tell she'd already popped a handful of Altoids and was on some sort of mission.

"Yeah, I'm up now, thanks to you hovering six inches above me and staring into my face," he grumbled. "Can't we sleep some more?" He tried to spoon her against him and burrow deeper into the covers, but she wiggled out of his grasp.

"No, I can't sleep another minute, I'm too wired. Actually," she whispered looking a little embarrassed, "I, um, was hoping I could coax you into an encore."

Nick's eyes flew open, all traces of sleep banished as he took in her suggestive statement. "Are you serious Jess?"

She nodded, biting her bottom lip. Nick didn't even bother answering; he just scooped his own handful of mints out of the tin, crunched them with furious intensity, grabbed Jess and flipped her beneath him as he started to trail little kisses up her neck and around the shell of her ear.

"What has gotten into you?" he breathed as he flicked his tongue across her earlobe. "I can't even believe what I'm hearing."

"I know," Jess panted, shifting underneath him and causing the earth to spin the wrong way on its axis. "I'm like an addict now, I can't be satisfied. But it's your fault; we're too good at this."

Nick grinned and pushed up to look down into her face. She looked so cute; flushed and rumpled, her hair fanned out across his pillow. "Jess, I'm no better off," he said quietly, before dipping his head to kiss her lips. Things cranked up quickly after that and Nick had just started to skim his hand across Jess' flat stomach when Winston broke their moment to smithereens.

"Nick, you still asleep?" he yelled. "I ran into Jess' dad in the lobby and brought him up; he's here to see her, do you know where she is?"

Nick and Jess froze, their eyes huge. "Oh my God!" she breathed, "Nick, he's…. I mean, he can't, I don't know what to do!" she mouthed. Nick shook his head, "It is ok," he whispered, "we'll figure it out, just give me a second."

Jess nodded. Nick cleared his throat.

"I'm not sure man," he yelled through the door. "She said something about errands last night, I'll text her in just a minute."

Jess still looked panicked. Nick took a deep breath and decided to seize control. "Ok, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to get dressed and go out there, tell you Dad that you texted me back and said you were at that bagel place, you know the one with the neon blue sign four blocks away? I'll take him there to meet you, but I'll go the wrong way on purpose for a few blocks and then turn around, so you'll have time to get dressed and beat us there. Use the back door of our building so we don't run into each other. Does that work?"

Jess beamed at him gratefully. "That's perfect," she whispered, putting a hand on his cheek. "God, I'm lucky you're around."

Nick swallowed the lump in his throat and grabbed her hand, kissing the inside of her wrist, once, twice.

"Likewise, Jessica," he breathed. "Now go hide in the closet while I get Bob out of here."


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hey everybody! So stoked that this dreadful hiatus is almost in our rear-view mirrors! Who is dying for Tuesday to get here already? Thanks again for the reviews, please keep them coming. Just to reiterate, there is no copyright infringement intended._**

* * *

Nick was beyond nervous as he walked Bob purposefully away from the bagel shop they needed to get to. It was easy to guide him out of the apartment, but now that they were out in open space, walking through the bright light of day, Nick felt like Bob could see right through him. Deep down, he knew Jess' Dad wasn't a mind reader. He couldn't somehow intuit that Nick had woken up with his only daughter two mornings in a row, but still, it was unnerving trying to make small talk with the guy when scenes from last night kept creeping into his mind, unbidden. The curve of Jess' neck, the way she sighed when he pressed a kiss into the little hollow below her hipbone, the way she fit against him like she'd been carved with Nick in mind. He shook his head and blinked in the morning sun, willing the more passionate moments of their encounter to stay out of his mind, at least through breakfast.

"So Bob, how was your drive from Oregon? Is it a pretty easy highway shot or do you have to take back roads?" Nick trailed off pathetically.

"You know, the map says take the highway, but I've learned never to live and die by anything generated on the internet."

Nick's ears pricked up. _Conspiracy theories? That's my sweet spot! _

"I know what you mean Bob," Nick said enthusiastically. "You know, GPS is always pushing you toward some toll road or through a commercial district, I think the tech companies are in bed with the fuel corporations and restaurant chains."

"Been saying it for years," Bob concurred. "Hey, how far is this place anyway?"

"Oh you know what?" Nick feigned, slapping his forehead, "I took us the wrong way; I was heading to my favorite diner on autopilot. Sorry about that."

"No problem," Bob said jovially, slapping Nick on the back as they made a U-turn. "Gotta get my steps in anyways," he said, checking the pedometer on his waistband.

"Good man," Nick grinned. _Maybe I can do this._

* * *

Jess was waiting for them at a table outside when they finally appeared at the bagel shop. She looked pretty as a picture in a black ruffled skirt and mint green top and flashed Nick one, heart-stopping grin before hopping up to hug her Dad.

"Dad! It's so great to see you! I'm sorry I wasn't home when you got in, I wish I'd known you were coming."

"Nothing to worry about, Nick here kept me company," Bob said.

Jess looked surprised and pleased to see Nick and her Dad in good spirits. "Ok, well great then! So I didn't want to order until you guys got here, do you want to head inside?" Jess asked.

"Hey, Jess, I'll grab the food, you and your Dad can hold the table and catch up a little," Nick interjected.

For the second time in as many minutes, Jess flushed with surprise. She raised her eyebrows and offered Nick a sweet smile. "Yeah, cool, that would be great, thanks Nick! I'll take a—"

"—cinnamon-sugar bagel, toasted, with strawberry cream cheese and an Irish Breakfast tea," Nick rattled off, rolling his eyes. "I got you covered Jess. What can I get for you Mr. Day?"

"Bob's fine and I'll just take a plain bagel with plain cream cheese and a black coffee," Jess' Dad replied.

"Hey, that's what I always get!" Nick laughed. "I'll be right back."

* * *

Five minutes later Nick walked slowly outside, balancing a precarious, bagel laden tray on his right arm. He walked carefully over to the table and started handing out the goods. The tray looked funny with Jess' bright and cheery order sitting between Nick's and Bob's matching "no frills" selections.

"Oh hey, I pocketed a bunch of napkins," Nick said, "this place is so stingy with 'em! It's like, sorry if I want clean hands with my $6 bagel, I guess that's on me."

Bob shook his head. "It's one of _those_ places, huh? I bet they charge $1.05 for coffee refills too. The nerve of some restaurants."

"You're telling me," Nick added.

"I guess the 200% mark-up isn't enough," Bob and Nick finished in unison. Laughing, they shook hands. Jess, however, didn't join in the revelry. She was looking from her Dad to Nick and back again rapidly; like she was following a high-energy tennis match. She was frowning and hadn't eaten much of her bagel.

The meal wrapped without much incident, and Bob and Nick were just ramping up for a lively discussion about the bold-faced gall of L.A. parking enforcers, when Jess' phone rang. She darted out of range to answer it so her two breakfast mates could disabuse those new cell-phone meters uninterrupted. She reappeared a few minutes later; pink-cheeked and happy.

"Hey guess what? That was Taunya."

"Your old principal?" Nick asked.

"Yup, she was calling because there's a job open at the school she got transferred to and she's putting me up for it!"

"That's great!" Nick and Bob chorused. "Seriously Jess, that's awesome," Nick said, giving her a warm smile.

"Thanks! And it's a great school to. It's a Blue Ribbon junior high not far from the loft with a really involved P.T.A. I'd be teaching homeroom and English for sixth graders, but they'd also want me to helm their creative writing program for the eighth graders."

"Sounds perfect sweetie, right up your alley," Bob said.

"So, the only thing is, I have to run in today for an interview," Jess chewed her lip nervously and looked from her Dad to Nick. "Is that ok? Dad, can you hang at the loft? Or I can try to get you in to a museum tour group or something…" Jess trailed off.

"Honey, I'm exhausted from my drive, I'm happy to lay low at your place. Then I can take you out for a congratulatory dinner when you get the gig!"

"Aw, thanks Dad!"

"And Jess, I'm not working until tonight, so I'll be happy to take you Dad anywhere he needs to go, or whatever," Nick said, tugging at the collar of his shirt nervously.

Jess beamed at him, her blue eyes bright and excited. "Thanks Nick, I really appreciate that."

"Jess I'm going to run inside and use the restroom before we head back," Bob said.

"Sounds good Dad, we're not in a hurry."

As soon as they were alone, Jess stepped in closer to Nick and touched his arm. After two nights of incredible sex, he didn't expect her hand on his sleeve to send shivers down his spine, but he was sorely mistaken.

"Are you sure you're ok hanging with him today? I know that's a lot to ask," Jess murmured.

"Don't even worry about it," Nick said quietly, reaching for her waist and tugging her in closer. "This job is important to you, and stuff that's important to you… well, that same stuff is important to me," Nick finished with a crooked grin. "So don't worry about us, just go get 'em," he whispered, drawing her in for a sweet kiss.

Jess kissed him back soundly and uttered a little sigh of disappointment when he stepped away from her.

"Wow, I'm really going to owe you for this Miller," Jess said. "Really, really going to owe you, big time."

Nick felt his pulse race at the suggestion of Jess being in his debt. "Oh yeah? Any ideas on paying me back, or is it up to me to figure that out?"

"Maybe we should decide together," Jess flirted tracing a little pattern on his chest with her index finger.

Nick could have stayed like this with her all day; flirting, teasing, touching, kissing, making promises. But just as he was thinking up his next, sexy retort, he saw Jess' Dad start to make his way back toward them. Jess noticed just a fraction of a second later, and leapt away from Nick like she'd been electrocuted. Luckily, Bob was checking his pedometer and didn't notice.

* * *

Nick felt downright chipper on the walk back to the loft. Jess kept smiling at him gratefully and Bob kept the conversation going with ease. _Jess' Dad is cool, he hates all the same stuff I hate!_ Far from dreading the day ahead, Nick found himself looking forward to it. The NFL draft was on, they could share the paper, maybe he could even interest Bob in the turtle documentary he'd marked as permanent on the DVR.

They grabbed Bob's luggage out of the car and hauled it up to 4E.

"So Jess, can I bunk with you guys tonight?" Bob asked. "I'm booked at Cece's wedding hotel starting tomorrow, but they wouldn't give me the group rate tonight, so…"

"What a racket," Nick said shaking his head.

A little worry line creased Jess' brow as she observed her Dad and Nick's interaction but it disappeared quickly.

"Sure Dad, you can take my room," Jess said. "Our couch is super comfy; I'll be snug as a bug out there."

"Jess, that's ridiculous, you can sleep in my room," Nick blurted. "Without me in it, of course," Nick stammered. "Um, no way would we be sharing, 'cause that's mega inappropriate. I'll be the one to couch it tonight, so, final answer, mark it down, case closed."

Nick wiped some sweat off his brow as his ridiculous rant finally ended. Jess rolled her eyes at him and mouthed, "What is wrong with you?" but Bob didn't appear to be phased.

"Ok, cool, thanks Nick, you'll take the couch then," Jess said, giving her Dad a pat on the arm. "I'm going to go suit up for my interview!" she squealed, scampering to her room to change clothes.

Bob smiled at Nick blandly and looked down at his pedometer. Without moving his eyes from the little display, he spoke his next words with measured calm. "You're right Nick, sharing a room with my beautiful, kind-hearted only child, even for a single night, _would_ be mega-inappropriate, to say the very least."

With stunning clarity, Nick saw his imagined day of newspaper sharing, draft talk and turtle discussion fly out the window, never to be heard from again. Suddenly, he wasn't quite ready for Jess to leave.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hello all! There are a lot of spoilers for Winston's Birthday in this chapter, but I decided to leave Jess out of the confrontation with Nick and Bob and let the men handle the knock down drag-out. I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you for continuing to review, it makes my day!_**

* * *

Jess bounced out the door for her job interview looking so excited about her prospects, and so utterly grateful that Nick had volunteered to hang with her Dad, that Nick, against better is judgment, relaxed just a shade. Bob was in Jess' room on the phone, so Nick scanned the loft frantically for anything that might implicate him as a slacker. He quickly ran the trash can to the chute in the hall and stashed his bottle of Jack Daniels under the sink and out of sight. There weren't any suspect magazines lying around, unless you counted Schmidt's fanned out issues of _GQ_, which Nick found fundamentally creepy. All in all, the place looked pretty good; tidy, well-kept, adult even. Nick was pleased.

His eyes landed on the grocery list Jess had started and left on the counter so they could all add to it. As a group they'd scribbled all the usual requests: bread, cereal, coffee, peanut butter, pasta, laundry detergent, but in true Jess fashion, she'd also listed confectioner's sugar as a must-get. At the very bottom of the list in Jess' delicate hand, he saw that she'd also written _biscuit mix, unsalted butter, sour cream _and _honey_. He frowned as a memory from last week floated to the front of his brain and smacked him full in the face.

_"Man, don't you wish you were still a kid sometimes and that you could just run into the house after playing outside and demand dinner?" Nick asked as he pulled a burrito out of the microwave, wrinkling his nose._

_"Was your Mom an awesome cook or something?" Jess questioned as she delicately twirled pasta and speared veggies off her much-superior looking dinner plate._

_"She wasn't a gourmet or anything," Nick said, plunking down next to Jess, "but she had a couple specialties that we just begged for. Really good spaghetti and meatballs, stuff like that."_

_"What was your favorite thing she made?" Jess asked, turning to face him._

_"These little biscuit things, I don't even know what was in 'em. They were small and kind of tangy, so maybe cream cheese or something else sour? Anyway, when she made those, Jamie and I would eat like five or six apiece and douse them in honey and totally spoil the whole meal."_

_Jess laughed, "but I bet your Mom was so happy to see you guys digging into her cooking that she didn't even care."_

_"Exactly!" Nick laughed. "Man I wish I wasn't such a dummy in the kitchen and knew how to make them. I need to remember to ask my Mom for the recipe…"_

Nick's throat tightened as he stared at the shopping list. Jess must have searched around online and figured out how to re-create his childhood favorite. In light of what had happened over the last two nights, this little gesture seemed to glow even brighter than it might have otherwise. _My God_, Nick thought to himself, _how did you luck into this one?_

* * *

It had turned out to be a gorgeous day, so when Bob emerged from Jess' room after making a few calls, Nick suggested enjoying a couple beers on the roof. Bob was more than game, so they dragged a little cooler upstairs and commandeered two of the less sketchy pieces of rooftop patio furniture. The conversation was pretty easy at first. Bob talked about work and life in Oregon, and to Nick's delight, made a few rude comments about "that idiot doctor" Jess used to go out with. Two beers in, Nick started to loosen up, and shared a little bit about his ideas for the bar. Bob seemed genuinely interested and impressed that his Guy's Night promotion had netted a decent little profit.

"That's what you gotta do," Bob said, taking a drink, "you've just got to keep reaching, keep aiming high, and eventually one of your ideas will hit and boom, everything changes."

Nick nodded eagerly, "that's what I've always wanted, I really don't want to be stuck behind the bar forever, I feel like I can do more."

"Good man," Bob said, smacking him on the shoulder. "So what's the story with you, you got a girl?"

"Um, no, nope, not at all, no, no girls," Nick stammered, the blood in his veins boiling hot all the sudden.

"Really? Good looking guy like you? It seems like women would just flock to you with the gruff and the stubble," Bob prattled.

"No it's not like that, let's talk about you and girls, this isn't something we should talk about Bob, trust me!" Nick yelled.

"Ok, gee whiz, I'm sorry!"

"Just freakin' back off!" Nick huffed.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," Bob said solicitously.

Silence loomed over the scene on the roof and Nick started to feel a little stupid. Maybe he'd overreacted and truth be told, it was hard _not_ to claim what was going on with Jess, it made him giddy just thinking about it. He chanced a looked a Bob who was purposefully turned away from Nick to give him a minute with his thoughts.

"All right," Nick said, slapping the arm of his lawn chair.

"What?" Bob said, urging him on.

"There's a girl," Nick fessed up.

"I knew it, there's always a girl."

"You're right!"

"What's she like?" Bob implored.

"She's uh, not quirky," Nick said, lighting on a plan of action. _I'll just play the opposite game, like I used to do to annoy Jamie._ "She's got no bangs; she's tall, fat, really ugly eyes, small, tiny little beady eyes. Her name is Yolanda Winston."

"Yolanda Winston," Bob mused.

Nick was on a roll now and couldn't seem to pull back. "Yep, Yolanda, well she likes to wear pants, I don't think she owns a single skirt. Her go-to color palette is the army-issue green and taupe family. She's terrible with kids; she can't sing a note, not at all creative and a real disaster in the kitchen."

"She sounds like quite a girl," Bob said, frowning.

"She really is," Nick said, in a bit of a daze now, soldiering on like a runaway train. "You know Bob, when she's around; it's not at all like the sun's shining through the clouds. She doesn't make me want to be a better person, or anything like that, not one bit. And there's no way I'm falling for her."

Nick snapped out of his reverie and started to panic. _What are you saying, you idiot! You're not even making sense! _Bob was looking at him through narrowed eyes, and Nick had a familiar sinking feeling in his stomach. _You never can quit while you're ahead, can you guy?_

"Nick," Bob said his voice low and serious. "Yolanda sure does sound like the anti-Jess. In fact, it seems painstakingly clear to me that you made a real effor to pick a girl who is opposite my daughter in almost every category. So I'm only going to ask you this once; are you dating Yolanda, or did you just spend the last five minutes inventing Yolanda?"

Nick was actually sweating now. _I'm done_. "Ok, fine, look Bob, I'm a terrible liar, there's no Yolanda," Nick said, hanging his head.

"And why did you go to all that trouble to paint such a lovely picture of your fictitious friend?" Nick couldn't respond, which was fine, because he was pretty sure Bob already knew the answer. "Is it because you're secretly dating my daughter?"

"Well, we're not exactly dating," Nick blurted, "it just kind of happened…"

"Excuse me?" Bob said, his voice rising. "What just kind of happened?"

Nick's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and he jumped up from his seat. Bob stood just as fast and repeated his question. "_What_ just kind of happened?"

"Um, uh, well, you see," Nick stammered, "I've got to go check on my documents," he said, bolting for the loft.

"I'll kill you!" Bob yelled, chasing him down with surprising speed. "You're dead!"

Nick saw his life flash before his eyes and screamed like a sixth grader watching _The Exorcist _as Bob dogged his every step. Down the stairs, into the loft, around the coffee table. _I'm in terrible shape, _Nick thought as he clutched his side in total disbelief that this much heftier man more than 20 years his senior was wearing him down.

* * *

"Ok, Bob, stop, stop chasing me," Nick panted. "I can explain. It isn't what you think, ok?"

"It better not be!" Bob yelled, still red-faced. He slowed his pace and leaned over to catch his breath. "You've got 60 seconds, you bum. Talk fast."

"Ok, thank you," Nick said, screwing up his courage and taking a few shaky breaths. "It's like this. I kissed Jess a couple months ago, kind of out of the blue. I'd had a crush on her forever and it had turned into something stronger, so I just went for it. It shocked her and frankly it shocked the hell out of me too. I'm usually spineless about these things, but I just couldn't hold back on this one, you know? So we've been trying to figure out what we are to each other ever since. I attempted to take her on a real date, and did a horrible job with it. I thought she'd kind of given the whole thing up after that, but the other night, she was about to go off and meet an old flame and I just couldn't take it. So I made a move and we shared a moment, but not the kind of moment that's just a moment by itself, swear to God. The kind of moment I hope is the beginning of something I'll always have," Nick finished, his ears bright red. He was mortified to be talking like this in front of Jess' Dad, but he had to know that one night stand was not an option in Nick's book.

Nick was staring at his shoes, but could tell Bob hadn't moved. He heard Jess' Dad sigh, and sit down, so Nick chanced a look up.

"Nick," Bob started, "I'm not thrilled about this, I'll be honest with you. I think you and I have a lot in common, and that's what scares me. I'm not good enough for my little girl, so that means you aren't either."

"I know," Nick mumbled. "I'm such an idiot and she's…" Nick trailed off scratching the back of his neck. "She…. defies explanation."

Bob laughed. "That's true. And the fact that you understand that means you aren't such an idiot."

Nick looked up hopefully but Bob shook his head. "Don't get too excited cowboy, that doesn't mean you've got my stamp of approval here."

Nick bowed his head respectfully and nodded.

"But I'll tell you one thing Nick," Bob said. "It's no good bottling this stuff up and burying it because you don't think you're worth a try. That's part of what wrecked me and Jess' Mom; when things got a little hard, I self-sabotaged so she wouldn't hurt me first. Biggest mistake of my life."

Nick nodded, knowing exactly what Bob meant. "I don't want to do that with Jess," Nick mumbled.

"You're right, you don't. And while I may not think a cable-thieving, flannel-obsessed bartender is the perfect match for my little Jujube, I can tell that you love her, and that's a rare thing."

Nick's eyes bugged out of his head and he started to argue, but Bob held up his hand.

"It's ok, it's ok. I know you aren't there yet. You don't have to know you love her yet, but it helps if I do."

Nick didn't know what to say. His heart was racing with an electric mix of adrenaline, excitement and sharp threads of hope.

"Look Nick, the foot race and heart-to-heart were both pretty exhausting. I think I'm going to hit the showers. Oh, and when Jess nabs that job, you're welcome to join us for a celebratory dinner," Bob said with a wry smile.

Nick's heart leapt. "That's really nice of you, thanks Bob. Oh and hey, some of that stuff I said about Jess, um, that's kind of the first time I've, uh, debuted that material," Nick trailed off.

"Don't worry," Bob laughed. "I'll let you pick your own moment with her; you're feelings for Yolanda are safe with me."

As Bob gathered his stuff for the shower, Nick wondered if he had time to run out and snag some flowers for Jess, and maybe a nice cigar for her incredibly reasonable Dad, before the three of them set out for dinner.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey everyone, here is a long overdue update! How heart-stopping was that finale? Since we're on hiatus for a while, I might let this story continue a bit beyond my traditional six or seven chapters! Keep reviewing and thanks for the reads!**_

* * *

His beer tasted terrible; stale and lukewarm and above all, unbearably familiar. He rolled up his shirtsleeves and wrapped his hand around the bottle again, tipping the bitter liquid down his throat; trying to swallow without tasting it. Trying to choke it down in spite of the giant, thorny lump in his throat. He couldn't believe how quickly his bubble of hope and possibility had popped. This entire day had been like wading through a pit of patient quicksand. Relax for one minute and your shoes disappear.

After Bob's grudging acceptance of his feelings for Jess, Nick had felt as light as air. Bob kept his word and didn't let on that he knew anything. When Jess flew through the front door after her job interview full of good news and excitement, Bob and Nick congratulated her and acted like they'd spent a wholly unremarkable afternoon together. They'd all gone out for dinner, as promised, and Nick couldn't take his eyes off her the whole night. The way she threw her head back when she laughed, the way she absentmindedly swung her purse as they walked home, the little squeeze she gave his hand when he grabbed the door for her. When he wished her goodnight in front of her room, a tiny stolen moment while Bob brushed his teeth, she'd kissed him on the cheek and given him a heart-stopping look before whispering, "Save a dance for me tomorrow, ok?" He walked back to his room in a blind fog, his pulse racing.

But that felt like something from another lifetime at this point. All he could see now, all that felt real, was the look on Jess' face when he'd told her he wanted to give up.

* * *

_"Just say it," Jess said, her voice small and a little shaky. Nick looked into her face and even through the painful haze of this moment, he was struck by how beautiful she was. Her blue sari floated around her like a cloak in a fairytale and her piercing eyes, now swimming with tears, seemed to look right through him. He felt his heart pick up and the panic take over. _I've lost her already, _he thought_, I cannot believe I'm watching this slip away.

_"Ok, I think we should call it," Nick said robotically. "It's not like we're in love or anything. We had one night," he tried to shrug, but his voice broke on the last part and he furiously blinked back the unwelcome sting that was building behind his eyes._

_"Ok, let's call it," Jess sniffed, forcing herself to meet his eyes. "I think… that feels good to me, does it feel good to you?" she asked, the end of her question laced with what be hoped was the smallest trace of pleading. But he couldn't make himself investigate, all he could do was nod, stupidly, and try to keep it together when Jess's face twisted into a tight, sad smile he'd never seen before and she strode past him. She shook her head and walked a fast path to the door which swallowed her so fast it's like she was never even there._

* * *

All Nick could think about as he swilled beer and played their heartbreaking conversation on repeat in his head was how stupid he felt. Earlier that day, he'd tried so hard to play the boyfriend. He didn't even mind toting her ridiculous fuchsia purse around all day; he'd felt like a member of some secret club. A club for guys with beautiful women to claim, guys who didn't care about holding an accessory so long as it meant they'd be cuddling up to its owner later that night. And at first, it had worked! Jess looked at him through her lashes and trailed a hand across his chest under the guise of straightening his tie. She flirted with him and leaned into him and he couldn't get enough. But then all of Schmidt and Winston's stupid hijinks had derailed them. Nick fought so hard to stay out of it, but when Jess accused him of orchestrating the whole thing, his confidence just tanked. _That's what she thinks of you man, that's all you are to her. You're the messy, chaotic roommate. You're Nick Miller who never does anything; at least not anything good._

So Nick buried his hurt under a little quest for revenge and helped Schmidt and Winston with their ridiculous prank scheme. Even when Jess crawled up into the air ducts after him and apologized for doubting him, he just couldn't get back to center. So he pushed her and made her admit that she wasn't 100 percent sold on a Nick and Jess union. It was easier to hear it sooner than later. It's what he had wanted in the moment; it's the reaction he'd expected. But now, sidled up to the bar nursing a Heisler, he couldn't stop thinking about the sparkling possibility he'd felt earlier and how he'd managed to extinguish it with record-setting speed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Winston kick out the vent and tumble onto the carpet. He tried to muster up a greeting, but could barely lift his eyes from the bar in front of him. Winston definitely looked worse for wear. He'd lost his jacket somewhere along the way, was beyond disheveled and his walk was more unusual zig-zag than actual gait.

"Hey man," Nick said.

"Bucky bit me," Winston responded matter-of-factly lifting his arm to reveal a bloodstained bandage and a homemade tourniquet. "He bit me bad, so… I'm pretty dizzy."

_That explains a lot, _Nick thought. Normally this sort of high drama would have been compelling, but tonight, Nick just felt sad and weary.

"Ok," he said, his voice hollow.

Winston looked at him for a quiet minute and then his expression softened. "Ok, what happened with Jess."

Nick closed his eyes for just a fraction of a second, already dreading his own words.

"We called it, and she left. Yeah, we uh, we called it off," Nick said with a little laugh of disbelief. Hearing it spoken aloud was horrifying. A cold rush of shame pooled in his stomach and he felt a little sick. He lifted the Heisler bottle in sarcastic salute. "So now I'm gonna drink, 'cause that's my move."

"That was also your Dad's move," Winston said fixing him with a sharp look. "Yeah when things get messy, you just run away." Nick felt his chest constrict. The thing about old friends was they had painstakingly clear insight into your flaws. Winston turned in his barstool to look Nick squarely in the face. "But you know, there are other moves."

Nick felt a little shudder of something deep inside him. _Other moves, brave ones_, he thought. _Moves worthy of Jess._

Nick looked down at his hands, a glimmer of hope tugging the corners of his mouth up. He glanced at Winston, almost like he was asking for permission, or maybe confirmation.

"Go," Winston commanded his voice strong and sure.

Nick jumped up, done with thinking, and smiled. "Thanks man," he shouted, already half way out the door.

* * *

As he flat out ran towards the hotel entrance, he remembered the first wedding he'd taken Jess to. It was early days for their friendship, and she'd been so excited to be to be in on a joke, to be part of the shenanigan. When he asked her to be his fake girlfriend for the night, his intentions were purely selfish. He knew Jess would try hard to pull it off, plus it didn't hurt that she had a mass of shiny brown hair, giant blue eyes and a smile that could brighten a funeral parlor. He figured she'd be prime jealousy-inducing material for Caroline, but when Jess floated out of her closet in that purple dress, ready to play the part, he'd lost sight of what they were really doing for a minute.

That whole night had been a disaster. He'd re-injured his newly healed heart when Caroline admitted that she'd moved on. Nick was sad she'd found someone else, but sadder that his life seemed so stalled, so static. So he'd holed himself up in the photo booth, intent to move there, permanently. Schmidt and Winston's attempts to get him out of there were worthless, but when Jess pulled back the curtain and joined him for a pep talk, it all changed. _My life can't be stuck on an endless loop if she's in it, _he'd thought drunkenly. _And that's something._

That memory sped him up a notch and he tore out the front door ready to do or say anything he had to if it would undo the last couple hours. He scanned the valet line and circle drive for a flash of blue sari and stopped in his tracks when he saw her, right in front of him, like she'd been waiting all along. Nick opened his mouth to speak, but Jess beat him to it.

"Look, I know you think we should call it," she said, her voice thick with emotion, "but I don't want to give up on this, even if we don't know what this is."

Nick's heart froze in his chest. He couldn't have spoken if he wanted to, but it didn't matter, Jess soldiered on.

"I want to un-call it," she said, her eyes glazed with unshed tears. "Please can we un-call it?" Nick broke inside at the little plea he heard in her question. He wanted to fix her, put her back together.

"And before you say no," she finished bravely, "don't say no."

That did it. Nick's whole world opened back up and something beyond his brain moved him toward Jess. He'd lost sight of everything around him, he couldn't hear anything except the beating of his own heart and Jess' ragged breathing; time just kind of froze. And it only started back up again when he gathered her in his arms and poured everything he was feeling, the joy, the regret, and the hope into a searing kiss.

Jess let out a shaky sigh of relief and kissed him back with intensity he hadn't felt before. Her mouth was warm and desperate beneath his and he couldn't stop touching her. He threaded his arms around her waist and pressed her into the car, loving how close she was. He only pulled back for a fraction of a second to cradle her face and share a bubble of laughter and an electric grin with Jess. _Jess_, he thought as he kissed her again and again_, my roommate. The girl who brought me back into the land of the living._

* * *

They'd driven for about an hour, laughing and bickering, kissing at stoplights and getting honked at when they didn't break apart soon enough and held up traffic. But something was bothering Nick. He'd been a man of action these last few months, sweeping her into a surprise kiss, prying open the elevator doors and carrying her to bed, following up her declaration tonight with an embrace. But he hadn't spelled much out for her. Up until tonight, Jess had been just as tight lipped. But after her brave words outside of the hotel, he felt like he was overdue.

Nick pulled off the highway without explanation and stopped at a tiny shopping center. The old fashioned burger joint at the far end was still open, but everything else was shut tight. Nick parked next to a gorgeous old oak tree with thick, leafy branches. It gave the car a little shield of privacy from the rest of the world; which gave Nick a much needed shroud of confidence.

Jess hadn't said anything when he exited the highway without a word as to why. She looked a little nervous when he turned off the engine, but stayed quiet, urging him to speak with a gentle smile. Nick let out a puff of breath and was surprised to find his chest clogged with emotion. He reached for Jess' hand blindly and took in her shocked countenance through tear-blurred vision.

"Jess," he choked out, threading his fingers through hers, and then unwinding them again. "I almost ruined it. I'm so sorry," he finished, smoothing his palm across hers and tracing the tips of her fingers. He was afraid to look up or say anything else, horrified he was so choked up. "I almost ruined it," he whispered again. "I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself."

"Nick, no," Jess said, her own voice dangerously wobbly. "You didn't almost ruin anything. You were trying so hard, you did everything right. And then I got scared and didn't trust it and pushed you away. I'm the one who spoiled it," Jess croaked.

Nick shook his head, still playing with her fingers. He looked up, into Jess' face, into the sincerity he saw there. His vision cleared and he laughed, pulling her into a warm hug. "Ok, we can share the blame," he murmured rubbing warm circles on her back and delighting in how she clung to him. "It takes two I guess."

Jess pulled back and smiled, smoothing her hand across his cheek and lingering on his jawline. He held her there and kissed her palm, then the inside of her wrist, then each fingertip.

"Ok, I'm an emotional puddle here, I need to reclaim my manhood or something," Nick laughed. "Do you want me to open the hood of the car and tinker with something in the engine? Restore your faith in my masculinity?"

Jess laughed and scooted closer to him so she could rest her head on his shoulder. "No way Miller, you're not going anywhere. My faith in your Y chromosome is steady as ever."

Nick laughed and started the car back up.

"Plus," Jess purred. "I can think of another way you can prove your manhood to me, and it doesn't involve automobiles."

It was a good thing Nick hadn't made it back to the highway yet. He would have run off the road.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hey everyone! I know I have been beyond delinquent in updating. My husband and I took a trip abroad and were internet-less for a while, and then I had to get a minor surgical procedure. But I'm back now and feeling inspired! I'm going to keep going with this story for a bit and I'm considering starting another AU fic, perhaps. Hopefully you all are still interested in this piece…. Enjoy some double sided jealousy in this chapter! Thanks for hanging with me._**

* * *

It was like they had a secret; a monstrous, shimmering secret. Nick and Jess had agreed to simplify their "very nearly defined" situation by keeping Schmidt and Winston out of it, at least for a while. Part of Nick wanted to scream his allegiance to Jess from the rooftops; he was so damn proud to be able to claim her, but the thought of sex advice from Schmidt and irritatingly knowing smiles from Winston kept him quiet.

Only Winston knew Nick had chased after Jess in the first place, so when he grilled him the day after the wedding, Nick just said he and Jess had come to an understanding that they'd always be friends. He told Winston they'd traded hugs and were on good terms, and had to hide his face from the pitying look in Winston's eyes. Someone must have filled Schmidt in too, because for the last few days, both guys had treated Nick with deference and given him a wide berth.

Which was probably good, because Nick could barely contain his glee, and if they guys got too close, they'd notice. Since the wedding, every time he locked eyes with Jess, hell, every time she came around a corner, Nick's heart started to race and time seemed to still. They'd shared a few glorious nights together since their little jaunt off the freeway, but they were careful not to overdo it. They didn't want anyone to find out, plus, it was still new; they didn't want whatever this was to burn out.

* * *

On this particular Friday, Nick had a blissful night off from the bar and Jess was curled up on the couch reading the Coolidge Middle School student handbook for probably the 30th time. Winston was off with Daisy, but Schmidt was pacing the living room, fretting over Cece versus Elizabeth.

"Six days have expired! Six out of the seven days I've been given to make this impossible decision!" Schmidt railed. "If I don't figure this out by breakfast on Sunday, I'll lose them both. God, what a nightmare this is! I made a spreadsheet with a complex pro-con algorithm, ranking everything from physical beauty to culinary know-how to pop culture aptitude. I even factored in 'je ne sais crois!' And you know what? Both women tied…. to the decimal point!" Schmidt collapsed on the couch dramatically, knocking Jess' handbook to the floor on his descent.

"Schmidt," Jess said, exasperated, as she reached down to retrieve her booklet. "You need to quit obsessing over Excel files and stuff-on-paper and just figure out who you want to be with."

"Oh is _that_ all I need to do?" Schmidt snarked. "I hadn't thought of that! I just need to figure out who I want to be with, that's all!" Schmidt gave Jess a dirty look. "Perfectly put Jessica, the loft genius award goes to you."

"Shut-up Schmidt, stop acting like such an ass," Nick growled. "Jess is right. Quit being a baby and make a decision."

Schmidt sighed and softened. "I know, you're both right," he mumbled. "Sorry Jess."

"No worries my friend," Jess said breezily, paging through her book again, a content smile on her face.

"It's just, I really don't know what to do. How do I choose?"

"Well break it down buddy, what about each person can't you live without?" Nick asked.

Schmidt looked a little confused. "Can you give me some examples?"

"Ok," Nick said, thinking. "Like, does one of them make you want to be a better person, or is one of them exceptionally kind and thoughtful? Does one woman make you short of breath when she walks in a room or do you wake up every day excited to see how she views the world on that particular morning?" Nick trailed off, feeling two pairs of eyes on him. "You know, stuff like that," he finished lamely.

"Hmm, that's interesting. Ok, I guess I need a new document," Schmidt said, opening his laptop.

Nick, embarrassed, stood up and mumbled something about the bathroom. When he reached its sweet refuge, he let the faucet run for a second and splashed some cold water on his face.

"Get a hold of yourself Miller," he whispered to his reflection. "Don't freak her out." He laughed at his half-crazed face in the mirror, turned the water off and started for the couch.

* * *

"—I don't know Schmidt, I just don't—"

"Just think about it Jess," Schmidt was saying, "I mean, he's a major client, so he's probably rolling in it. Smart guy too; went to Stanford and got his MBA from Georgetown. He saw that one picture on my desk; you know the one from last year when we went to the beach for your birthday? Anyway, he liked what he saw and he asked about you."

Nick froze, staying inside the bathroom so he wouldn't interrupt.

"Look, I know things with you and you-know-who didn't work out," Schmidt said, dropping his voice lower so Nick wouldn't hear. "But I promise, I'm looking out for you both. This guy's a catch, just saying," Schmidt turned his attention back to his laptop.

"Thanks Schmidt, but I think I'm good," Jess said quietly.

"I'll send you his LinkedIn profile later," Schmidt said distractedly. "You'll wise up."

Nick walked back to the couch stiffly, avoiding Jess' gaze. He felt stupid. What was he playing at, sneaking around with Jess when there were big, important, successful guys circling the wagon? The same old doubts he'd always felt crept in again. He could tell Jess was trying to catch his eye, but he pretended not to notice.

"Nick, how do you spell pescetarian?" Schmidt asked, eyes glued to his laptop.

"I don't know, why don't you ask one of your super Mensa co-workers or big-shot clients?" Nick snapped. He knew he was acting like a nine year old, but he didn't care.

"Nah, I'll just look it up. I'm going to go back this file up in my room. I have a couple of thumb drives that you can't access without keying in a digital code. I don't want a Ross/Rachel pro-con list situation on my hands, am I right guys?" Schmidt chuckled, disappearing inside his room.

"Nick—" Jess started, but he waved her off.

"It's ok Jess," Nick said shaking his head. "I obviously overheard your conversation with Captain Douchebag, but you don't have to explain anything. Look, maybe you and I sneaking around is stupid. Obviously, our own roommates don't think I'm good enough for you, so—"

"Oh no, I'm not listening to this song and dance again," Jess spouted, jumping to her feet, red-faced. "We're not sneaking around because people don't think we're good together, we're sneaking around because we thought it would make things easier!"

"Yeah, well, obviously it doesn't," Nick retorted. "Schmidt's guy sounds like Russell 3.0, I'm surprised you aren't game."

Jess gave Nick a very hurt look, and he felt his heart constrict painfully. "What is wrong with you Nick, why are you doing this?"

"Because, I'm a jealous idiot, ok?" Nick practically shouted. "I'm jealous of a guy I've never met who you aren't even going out with, but he seems so much better than me, that I'm jealous of him anyway!"

Jess gave Nick a bewildered look. But through the exasperation, he thought he saw the faintest trace of a smile.

"Nick that's ridiculous," she breathed.

"I know it is," Nick said wearily. "But I can't just flip a switch and turn it off," he looked up into Jess' face and bravely took her hand in his, twining her slim fingers around his own. "I'm sorry. Can we just go back in time, like an hour? And this time when Schmidt offers to set you up, I'll calmly read a magazine and toss you a wink like the cool, self-assured guy that I am?"

Jess laughed and pulled their joined hands to her heart, hugging them to her chest for a second. "Nah, I don't think we need the time warp. This way I know you care at least," she quipped.

"You have no idea Jess," Nick murmured before leaning in to kiss her lips. _Not even the foggiest_.

* * *

The bar was crazy busy, but for once, Nick wasn't dreading the rush. Since he and Jess were at Clyde's for fun, he didn't have worry about rowdy customers or crappy tips; he could enjoy the hubbub and crowds and the excuses they gave him to keep Jess close and whisper in her ear. There were hoards of people all around, but Nick felt like he and Jess were the only two souls on earth. It was kind of exciting being there, the bar noise swirling around them, the throng of people pressing Jess into his side.

After an hour of drinks and flirty conversation, Jess whisked off to the bathroom to freshen up and Nick felt a cold, peculiar little void take her place the second she flounced away. _You've got it bad, Miller_ a voice in his head taunted. For the first time in his life, inner Nick didn't argue, he just shrugged.

"Well, well, well, my favorite bartender's outside of the castle, and all alone," drawled a familiar blonde. "How'd that happen?"

Nick closed his eyes for a brief moment and prayed for strength. "Hey, Allison. You caught me on my night off," Nick said. Allison wasn't exactly a regular, but she'd been popping in with friends more and more lately. Tall, attractive and ever-so-assertive, she liked to dangle not so subtle propositions in front of Nick like an angler waiting for a bite. Nick was positive if he ever fell for it and followed her to bed, she'd be completely over him the next day. But because he hadn't caved, she was more determined than ever.

"Your night off? Bummer, I was hoping you would make me one of your extra dirty martinis," she pouted, bumping him with her hip. Nick jumped as far back as he could to avoid the contact, but the bar was so crowded it didn't do much good. "I guess I'll just have to settle for drinking one _with_ you instead."

"Actually Allison, I'm kind of here—"

"With someone else," piped up Jess, who'd silently blazed her way back to Nick and now looked downright furious. "Jessica Day, I don't believe I've had the pleasure," Jess fumed, sticking out her hand.

Allison snorted and shook it. "Allison Hollings. Nick, who's your little friend?"

Nick opened his mouth to bat down Allison's condescending comment, but Jess got there first.

"I just told you who I am, I'm Jess. I'm one of Nick's best friends and we also live together. And you know how that goes, right Allison? Friends and roommates first and then one day you wake up and it's just become so much more." Jess sighed theatrically and ducked under Nick's arm so she was cuddled up against him. "Anyway, now that we're all acquainted, would you like to join us for that martini?" Jess asked with mock politeness. "Although judging by the mascara smudges and the way you teetered over here, you may have already had a few, huh?"

Allison glared at Jess, slammed her drink down on the bar and marched over to rejoin her friends.

Nick turned to look at Jess, his mouth comically agape and his eyes twice their usual size. She covered her face with her hands.

"I know, I know," she said through her fingers. "That was out of control, I guess it was my turn."

Nick laughed. "Are you kidding? That was the greatest thing I've ever witnessed. I mean two beautiful women,—"Nick stopped short at Jess' glare, "—to rephrase, one beautiful woman, one severe looking bottle blond with average features and a mediocre sense of style—were kinda fighting over me! This might be the pinnacle for me, Day. It probably doesn't get any better than this."

Suddenly Jess was much closer, her hands sliding up his chest, latching onto his collar and dragging his face down to meet hers.

"Wanna bet?" she whispered before pressing her mouth to his with absolutely no regard for the crowd. She kissed him with courage and intensity; more so than ever before. And it was all Nick could do to stay standing, so he pressed her up against the bar and kissed her back. When they finally broke apart, Nick saw something fiery and incredible in Jess' clear blue eyes.

"Right again Day," he whispered before tugging her out the door, into the night and definitively back toward the loft.


End file.
